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December 2012

Killer Shopping

I just got back from dinner that started at 6. Lemme tell you… CPK has never been a more fun place to be stranded in when the Mall it’s attached to has a violent crime happen in it. No one could leave the Mall parking lot until one of the dozens of police searched your car for the stabber of the 2 shoppers. However, when me and my Super-Jew friend left, somehow, we just drove by with no one stopping us. Maybe they were only stopping people of color. Anyway, during the 3 hours we were stranded there, we got to know Yaira our server. She’s a crazy b*tch. And then towards the end I joshed with these 2 fine-*ss black girls. They sort of insisted I give them a shout-out. I got no Oral. None. But hello to Desiree & Lita anyway.
So, I think I’m going to try to get this chick Yaira to do a Sit-Down with me. She’s crazy. Perfect for you people. I’ll keep you posted. Wh*res.
P.S. I am not the one who stabbed the 2 shoppers at the Mall.

Minnie Riperton has left the building.

I gave away the 2 full Minnie Riperton records I had. I just gave them to someone. The dude is 24. She’s been dead longer than he’s been alive. But I wanted him to know some good f*ckin’ music. So I did it.
I’m not gonna lie- I started to sweat when he drove off. But I don’t have a record player anyway, so f*ck it.

I still have the never opened “Lovin’ You” 45 & the sheet music. See, I’m not a total idiot.
Oh! Plus, I gave him a copy of my remake of “Lovin’ You”, so that he could fully understand what a nut-case I am.

(minnie was hurt some years after the taking of this photo)
(charting at #114, I was hurted after the making of this CD)
(What? Too soon…?)

I see dumb reality stars.

So, I’m watching one of my favorite guilty-pleasure-reality-shows (which ill leave nameless) and the smartest of all of the “stars” keeps using the word “exasperated…” over and over again, when she means to say “exhausted (all of my options)”. It’s driving me nuts, because although I don’t know how to spell it, I know how to use it. 🙂

Blind, Deaf & Dumb (fingers crossed!)

So, I was just asked this question by a prospective blind date: “Hey so do u really talk a bunch when u get nervous? Like non stop?”

My response: “Yes. My mouth becomes a freight train that sounds like a truck driver is at the caboose. Seriously.”

See people, THIS is why I shouldn’t be allowed to talk OR text with people. I’m not good for the environment.

Hola Google

Hi Google. I know this may seem random, but I had a thought… I know you’re ideally trying to push people into cloud computing with your great devices and services, and they are certainly less expensive than most of the other devices (computers) out there, but… Well, I was thinking that if you put larger SSD’s in the Chromebooks & Chromeboxes people would feel better about moving over. At this point, even though we’ve come a long way, people still feel better having all there data stored locally. I don’t think we’re at the point yet where we can fully trust our music, pictures, memories, files- our lives to the cloud (although we do love being able to access al our stuff this way… even if you did raise your cloud storage prices 400%). (Oh, and it would only be fair to add that you’re online storage prices are still cheaper than anyone else’s.) So do us a solid, Google, put large SSD’s in those machines and let’s see what happens. I’m a fan. Make me proud.