So, I’ve been at the Mercedes dealership in Beverly Hills for 15 minutes. Not one person has taken a second glance at me. I think because the way I’m dressed, which we all know- it’s pretty poor… I think that they think that I’m somebody who can’t afford a Mercedes and/or I may be here to clean out the trash cans of their bottles and recycling. God I love LA.
I woke up with this gigantic boner. Well, it looks big next to my cats morning wood. And yes, we compared. Cat’s actually pretty proud of himself.
So last night I f*cked Joey Graceffa. He was OK in the sack, except for that he wouldn’t shut up while I was slamming my d*ck in and out of him. When I was done, I offered him a shot of penicillin but he said “no thanks, I’ve got stuff that sh*t won’t kill.” I was like “Me too!!”
We’re totally gonna f*ck again!
I want to have sex tonight with every single person at Apple.
I went to a big fundraiser for stray cats the other night and I cried during a video presentation of a kitten (that I originally brought into an emergency hospital), who died a few weeks later.
My rat uses a litter-box and I never had to train her. She also likes to f*ck with my cat.
Today is my Mom’s 40th Birthday. (that was her gift right there).
I trapped 13 ferrel cats last night who are today getting fixed, vaccinated, treated for fleas and then being put back where they came from so that they can live out their lives instead of being put to sleep.
Last week I helped an exhausted momma cat have her 4th out of 6 kittens… she was too tired to get back there and clean him and bring him to her, so I did it. It was kind of gross. But it reminded me how hard a Mom’s job is.
Today is my Mom’s 61st Birthday.
I found a dog in South Central LA last night and brought it back to the owner. Damn dog weighed 50 pounds and wanted to sit in my lap while I drove. Not in the good way. Fat *ss.
I am like 30 in dog years.
Today is my Mom’s 64th Birthday. I’m so getting in trouble for that.