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April 2014

Yelp, Lyft, Uber…

My 3 favorite new places to make a mess of the internet. Take a ride with a Lyft or Uber driver and you may hear some fun stuff. I did. And Holy F*ck did I hear some good stories. So I decided to get some of my own. I signed my sh*t up to drive for these companies and before I knew it, I was on the road listening to/having the funniest conversations with riders! Friday and Tonight were HILARIOUS. Trust- I have so much to tell.
Also, on a side note, Yelp is fast becoming my favorite new place to post on. Just FYI.

God I’m horny.

Cat B*tch

Hi you F*ckers.
I think I have a moral dilemma: I know this f*cking b*tch who has over 100 cats in her garage and an autistic man she lets sleep on a cot in the garage, and in turn, he takes care of all these cats. Some of these cats are FIV+ and some have Feline Leukemia. Some are both. Here’s the thing… She is probably saving these animals because they are seen as un-adoptable. But she often brings new cats and kittens to stay there. The kitties that have the communicable diseases are NOT separated from the others.
But here is the creepy part: She runs a cat spay/neuter organization. If the boosters (huge companies and private donators both) knew that she had all these cats with this guy in her garage all “hush-hush”… they would probably flip out, and pull out. BUT she is using donations for her spay/neuter gig to support these 100+ little secrets.
I think she’s a total c*nt- a liar and a thief. BUT I don’t want any animals to suffer. Not the sick ones, and not the healthy ones. But she is putting the healthy ones in danger. And misusing people’s money. And has this guy living in her garage (he is autistic, and I don’t know if she’s helping him or taking advantage of him, to be honest).
Understand that this lady has everyone that works for her sworn to secrecy. And again, she is kind of a b*tch and dishonest. I want her to know she is not above the law, or anyone… but I don’t want more cats to be hurt- any of them… the sick ones or the healthy ones. But I just can’t stop thinking that they are not separated. And that she launders a sh*t-ton of donations to her garage.

OK… What do you guys think?

Healthy poo?

Look, I had the healthiest dinner last night. It was all-natural, all, you know not candy, sugar and microwave food. And today my healthy dinner has paid me back with a very smelly poop. And I am afraid to look in the toilet to see what’s back there. So what I’m going to do is close my eyes and take a picture and post it. If a few of you Wh*rey people could let me know what it looks like, that would be great. Should I just go back to junk food and microwave food?