Browse Month

May 2014

Chicken Rat

I’m so mad at Misha right now, (my rat). She just snatched an entire chicken McNugget already dipped in sweet-and-sour sauce and then ran like H*ll under the dashboard of the motorhome. I live in this f*cking thing. It is going to smell and rot eventually. I’m trying to encourage her to go back underneath the dashboard into all that mess and go eat her newly snatched snack. But she stashing it for later obviously. I can’t get to it by taking off the doghouse. I can’t get to it by opening up the front engine compartment from outside. I would literally have to take the dashboard out in order to find where she stashed it between all the cables wires and tubes. I am so mad at her. If it doesn’t end up smelling bad it’s just going to attract a ton of ants. So now I have to actually encourage her to go up in there (where I’ve been trying to keep her out of) where all that delicate wiring and everything is, and go eat her stash. And I’m hoping that she isn’t chewing on any wires or sh*tting or p*ssing too much in there. 

Parenting sucks.

Rat for Sale!!

Sh*tty Sheets

Alright, no making fun… But last night I fell asleep eating a Butterfinger while watching a nature program narrated by Meryl Streep´╗┐. I woke up because my bladder was going to explode. The computer was dead- ran out of juice, and somehow I ended up sleeping on top of what was left of the Butterfinger. The chocolate melted and both the sheets and back of my shirt look like they have been shat on.
True. Story.