… only problem was he showed up without cash, and then had the nerve to ask if the $5.00 was negotiable. I was insulted. But I still did it, duh.
“So wait- Daddy, you just picked me up and PUT me on the couch?! You mean, as long as this blanket is laid out, I am ALLOWED on the couch? I’m confused and a little scared that I’m gonna get yelled at for being up here…. No?”
“Don’t worry, 26. Yes, I put that blanket down so your white hair won’t get all over the couch. But yeah, you’re allowed up there now! That’s why I put you up there!! Yaaaaaaaaaah!”
“Oh, and 26, can you get Daddy those peach-colored pills… I’m talking to a cat that’s not talking to me. Cats don’t talk. Don’t worry, Daddy will be fine.”
My landlords tried to f*ck me over so I f*cked back. I’m not a f*cker . I’m a nice person. I don’t LIKE to f*ck, but I f*cked on principle. The new me says “Don’t f*ck with me by trying to f*ck me over you f*ckin’ f*ckers! I’ll f*ck back! And I’ll f*ck back HARD!”
Wow. That felt good maybe I should f*ck more often!
See, this is cute. Laughter (which I deliver via potty-humor) and Love (like this video) are what make us happy & healthy. This video is dedicated to my ADORABLE Niece, who had a sh*tty day :(.
See, I’m pretty sure this f*cking Gay-As-Hell friend of mine knows all bets are off when you text me stuff like this, but yet, he sends it anyway. So, maybe he wants to be made a joke of. Just maybe. But, He did sort of pay me a compliment, in a way, sort of. I should probably just not post this picture.
And here’s a little something to bring it back old school: My Poop.
When I eat Mikkie Dee’s, my morning poop is astounding. (See exhibit A). And when I eat a big heathy salad with tuna and raisins, some fresh fruit, or maybe a hardy PB&J on whole wheat, my poop is sparse. (See exhibit B). Actually, just look at pictures of my poop. that’s most important.