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Keep no secrets, tell no lies.

So, I don’t really have any secrets, at least none that anyone would care about. So here’s a little ditty that most people wouldn’t share to a bunch of wh*rey strangers, but I’ll totally tell MY wh*rey strangers: This tiny little pill my Crazy Doctor (not “my Doctor is crazy ‘Crazy'” he’s a Psychiatrist, so he’s a “Crazy Doctor”, just like I’d call a Gynecologist as a P*ssy Doctor) gave me to help me sleep REALLY works, I’m back to my normal 12 hours/night, lol. But the funny side effect is that it makes me wanna eat EVERYTHING in the kitchen. I have woken up with a small party’s worth of cleaning to do the next morning in the kitchen! Seriously, it’s like a pot pill. All I wanna do is munch munch munch (lesbians-focus… focus) and then I fall asleep!
And that’s it. You may continue what you were doing.

Ah… The good Ol’ Days of Facebook.

I remember when someone posted this on my Facebook Wall and *I* got in FB trouble. It was funny though. People would post hi-LARIOUS stuff on my Wall and then I would get in trouble….. Until, as we all know, FB took down my profile. Oh well!!
So anyway, here is one of my bestest most favoritest things I ever didn’t do and gotted in trouble for… :).

How much did I love her for posing with us?!?

I’m pretty sure my neighbor is going through my garbage…

I went to put some recycling in the bin already rolled up onto the street tonight, and I noticed a bag that I had put in there a few days ago with ripped up bills and papers was empty, and sitting in top. I kinda pulled a Jersey-Boy move and went through the bin a little and my torn up papers were nowhere to be found. I wonder what my nasty old geriatric neighbor finds so interesting about my torn up bills etc…. I’m putting a note in the next bag of papers saying “Stay the f*ck out of my garbage, you dirty old garbage-picker!”
See- I feel better already!