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Half naked drunk girl at Home Depot.

I am truly sorry to inform you that I couldn’t get the video recorder out and recording quick enough. But this is what it looked like: This chick was a WH*RE!! I mean it’s kinda’ cold outside and she was wearing a skirt so short that everyone with at least 5/20 vision became her Gynecologist.
BTW, not a fan of the untrimmed lady part. I’m a fan of a bald monkey myself. She had a forest going on.

Read slowly.

I was up all night and am hitting the sheets now, which means I will sleep all day and be unable to post numerous dirrty posts. So my advice to you is this: Read this very very slowly so it lasts all day. Most of you probably failed your GEDs so I’m sure taking most of the day to read this isn’t a far cry from my assumption. “Assumption”. 3 syllables, you dumb, dumb b*tches.

PS: When you’re done getting someone literate to read this to you, stare at the picture of me and tell me you’d hit that.
PPS: Not “hit” like my Ex would do… “hit” as in nail/boing/tap/enter/pay $5 for oral.

Do Boobs ever get boring? I say “no”.

Boobs don’t get boring, and this is why:
-No 2 are the same (in pairs or on the same lady).
-They bounce.
-They are interchangeable with just a few thousand dollars & 2 weeks recovery time.
-They are the top 2 things men & *lesbians think about most during the day. *(please see important note at bottom)
-They secrete milk about 9 months after their **owner has sex without a rubber. **(please see important note at bottom)
-They’re so so much fun to play with, as long as giant, pencil eraser sized nipples don’t get in the way. No one likes those. Seriously, no one does.

*Lesbians are in a class called “Homosexuals” and that means there is no place in God’s Kingdom for them. I know this to be a true fact because that crazy b*tch who pickets Soldiers funerals said so. I hate that dumb b*tch.

**Women like this are also known as “Wh*res”.