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Yup, it’s true. Apple Maps still sucks.

So I decided to get Apple Maps to try and turned off Google maps. Besides the fact it only gives you about 300 foot warning before  any turn- it still sucks. It had me get off the highway, go around a very beautiful country loop for about 6 miles/20 minutes and then it had me completely backtrack and get back on the same damn highway. For no reason.

I’m  just surprised after all these years, they still can’t get it right.

And just a side note: dictating this entry with Siri was almost as bad as getting driving directions from Apple Maps. I had to go back and make so many corrections that it wasn’t even worth dictating this in the first place.

I just thought I would start off your Saturday morning with a little funny… :-). #YoureWelcome


I’d just like to say thanks to everyone who has followed this blog- through all its evolutions since I started it in 2003. As of Friday, September 8th 2017, has had 100,000,000 unique visitors! That’s a great feeling for a non-celebrity, irrelevant guy like me ;-)! Thanks!

I hope to keep evolving and be given the opportunity to keep sharing and entertaining!


With Love, @VocalVirgo

This is almost like a #ZombieApocalypse

So I took a few hour road trip north of San Francisco because I thought it would be great to get away on a non-animal-rescue-mission (because I’m like a #SuperHero) and I found this great BLM place near Cow Mountain. I emailed the department and they responded and said the land was open for camping first come/first served. So, I packed up the rats, kissed my cat goodbye, pet the BF’s dog on the head and gave the BF a sharp smack on his *ss (so he doesn’t forget me while I’m gone) and then I hit the road in the RV. I stopped for gas after 1/3 of the way out. And GodD*mnIt if the fuel-guzzling big block 454 didn’t get the exact same MPG as the last fuel up: 9.1 MPG. I mean holy sh*t. I’m a tree hugger and my 10,000 lb house on wheels drinks gasoline like a wh*re drinks… well… you know what I’m saying here. Anyway, all was good and quite pleasant until I got to the “Road Narrows” sign. Then it got worse at the “Pavement Ends” sign. It was raining and there was a lot of water and mud coming down the road as I was climbing through the woods into the mountain. And wouldn’t you know it- a mud slide. Nothing big, I could still get around it. But then a mile or so after that a really big one. Before I tried to go around it I assessed how screwed I might be. And took a picture. Then I crept around it without sliding. It just got worse from there. I wanted to turn around but there was absolutely nowhere to do it. And more water and mud was coming down. Believe it or not I got to the sign saying it was 5 miles to the site. Then 2 miles later I see a turnoff saying 3 more miles. About 1/2 a mile up, there was so much mud coming down and it was raining so much just making it worse, that the beast finally lost traction and I was spinning the duallies but slipping backward. Now a front tire is off the road hanging in a current of water pouring down the side of the road. I didn’t panic and I just hung my head out the window with one of those amazing flashlights that can light up even the tightest Mormon. 1/2 mile backing down a slippery, muddy mountain road and I only went off the road once. That’s pretty good. Anyway, I was able to turn around at the turnoff and pull into the parking area for the vehicles that were towing their 3 wheelers and 4 wheelers and first bikes ect. It was then that I realized that f*cking @AppleMaps was taking me THROUGH a HOV vehicle only road. I mean sh*t how I got even as far as I did I don’t know. But the road strictly prohibits any street vehicle from going further than the lot that they park in to unload their off-road toys. Holy. Cr*p. I could have gone off a cliff!
So even though I planned on staying out and off the grid for a few day, now I REALLY have to because the godd*mned road has to be washed out by now. I’m staying put until a ranger comes by to tell me I shouldn’t be up here. #Duh. I’m stocked for 3 or 4 days. So f*ck it. It’s f*cking nice up here. I bet you in the morning it’s gonna be beautiful. I’m probably in an amazing place on the side of this mountain with incredible views. I don’t know because it’s dark.
So anyway if you never hear from me again I probably either got eaten by a bear or rapped by a park ranger. Oh, if I could only chose! This feels like a zombie apocalypse or #IntoTheWild (but with marginal WiFi service).
Oh! And my iPad went into “Extended 1x” service/signal. Don’t care what that means. All I know is that I can post this to my blog. I am not even going to try and include a photo of the mudslide because it would take 4 days to upload. (Not complaining, I swear!). I am loving @Verizon right now though. My AT&T mobile phone can suck it with its “no signal”.
Ok, I’m done.
I’ll try to post tomorrow mornings mountainside photo to @instagram.

I’m totally gonna #Masturbate now.

I’m not proofreading this because I am #Lazy, so any and all typos and spelling errors can #SuckIt too.