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@drewbarrymore flirted with me once in Los Angeles in the gym parking lot. I denied her, (and I assume she cried all the way home) and I felt fine about it. Besides, she probably wanted a ride on my bike and I have a strict policy of “NO GIRLS ALLOWED!” Well, it seems like I made right choice. I heard she bit the fingers off some guy and then proceeded to eat him. WTF?? I could have been that guy. (God knows what she would have bitten off). So Drew: No means NO. And it’s staying no, you people-eater! #SantaClaritaDiet

Santa Clarita Diet #SantaClaritaDiet




@Twitter has become a place for people to bash each other. I’m not saying that’s a bad thing, but geez, doesn’t @realDonaldTrump have a new job now that requires his TIME and ATTENTION? Why is this f*cker on Twitter fighting like a schoolgirl with anybody who disagrees with his “policy”. I mean, His policy is to treat women, any brown or dark brown persons, the gays, and as stated above, anyone who disagrees with him, no matter who or what they are- like crap.

If he is going to pull a #MuslimBan on our fellow humans, can’t we put a #TwitterBan on him?

Hey! You! Trump! You’re a 70 year old man who somehow became the President of the United States. Why don’t you put down your Moto X and stop Tweeting #Hate and your own brand of #Negativity and just try to pretend to do your job and f*ck up this country…?

He is right about one thing. His Daughter is HOT. I wanna grab her by the p*ssy. #GrabEmByThePussy Wait… which daughter was it?

So fed up with Apple/Siri

Asking Siri where the nearest drycleaners is to me was like asking a Bull-Dyke for a bl*wjob. It only found half of them that were in my area, and refused to tell me where the one was that was right around the corner. I had to call a friend that’s in this town to ask where it was. @Apple:  You owe my friend a blowjob. And FYI: I’m about 2 clicks away from giving away this iPhone and my slower than God on Sundays brand new Mac and getting a Pixel phone and a Chromebook. #Suck.My.D*ck.