So weird. I had crazy sex dreams last night and I was banging the whole neighborhood without a condom.
I once won the award for longest fart during a sexual encounter. It’s true. Look it up.
That’s it. That’s all I have to say.
#Poop #Boobies #Sex #RV #Humor #DoggieStyle
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!
Another sex dream during a short nap. Intense. I woke up with a big, black boner and I was air humping. Yup. No shame.
I’m at my BFFs house for Christmas. He said you too, go figure. Anyway, he’s looking through his DVDs and he’s calling out their names to see which ones are possibilities for today and which ones are not. So he says out loud as he’s going through the stack “12 Years a Slave” and then he follows it up with “If we play it backwards it’ll have a happy ending…” Wow. Just wow.
I’ve committed to donating $1 million to Donald Trumps inauguration. With that, not only will I be at the inauguration but I will also have access to a special dinner sometime in the future where Donald Trump and his wife and the vice President elect and his wife will be in attendance.
I will have seven other tickets to this event. Who wants to go?