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My doctor is about to feel me up.

I’m having a breast exam. Seriously. Anyway, my doctor is going to ask me to either take off my shirt or unzip my hoodie so she can access my supple breasts. So I’m not sure which one of these two to go with –

” Dr.! You know I already have a boyfriend!”


“Dr…  I wore this exact outfit because I knew this moment would come.”

Which one should I go with?


Keep your #Homophobia to yourself.

So there’s this lady, lol. You know the rest of this story because it’s like so many others all over. But mine happens to be on/the use of the NextDoor app.

The first 2 screenshots are @NextDoor email to me about the complaint for violating their TOS, and then my response to them. Then there’s a bunch of in-order screenshots of the actual thread on NextDoor that’s being complained about. But the warning email to me from @NextDoor shows that me THANKING the husband for reaching out is what the complaint is about. WTF? Makes no sense. Ugh. I hate hateful people. Wait… What?



Naps and #SexDreams

I slept all afternoon and I had 2 sets of sex dreams. The first was with some random guy. And then still in my first dream I was having sex with some chick I had never met before, but I was completely willing to get her pregnant just for the sake of sex. OK, and then the second dream was this really long played out “lifestyle” dream and I was living with Ben Patrick Johnson @BenPatrick90069, and it was just so weird. He was spooning me but I super duper wanted him to fork me. And in the middle of the night I got up out of his bed and I played with his Great Dane and his rabbit who were sleeping on the same dog bed, but the dog bed was up on top of the dresser which made no sense. Anyway, I didn’t have sex in any of the dreams. Even in my sex dreams I can’t get laid!