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Sh*tting in a Van

I’m just going to get to it. I am sitting on a @LuggableLoo, in my unfinished #CamperVan- taking a sh*t. I have never. But it’s not so bad. It’s a little awkward of a feeling because I can’t move around too much because it could tip over with me in it. Oh god, could you imagine if an almost full #CompostingToilet fell over in your van!!? Oh god, scary. I swear I’m just trying to keep it 100 % real, because this is the kind of stuff I couldn’t find on the Internet. Anyway, when I’m done I’m going to cover it up with shavings, put the lid back down and pretend it never happened. And yes, I’m talking pictures. Hell, I might Periscope this. I’ll at least post photos on @Instagram tomorrow. When the shame falls away.

2017 Emmy nominations!

Everybody is so interested where the nominated actors were when they found out they were nominated. I don’t know why. But I’ll tell you anyway. I was going poop when I found out that I was nominated. Two  nominations . One for best lead male actor in a comedy/adult/porn roll and one for best lead female  playing opposite my male character. Yeah… so I was pooping.

Warriors for Christ Facebook Page got taken down. #Homophobes.

Ha ha, this is funny. So by now we have all heard about Facebook adding rainbow flag emojis, and a Christian Facebook page is promising to ban anyone who uses them. In honor of LGBT Pride month the rainbow flag is joining the “thumbs up” & “heart sign,” as well as “excited,” “shocked,’ “sad,” and “angry” emoji as a way to react on Facebook. However, the Warriors for Christ Facebook page is not happy that Facebook has added a rainbow flag emoji to their list of possible post reactions, and issued a stern warning explaining that anyone using a rainbow flag emoji would be banned. #Idiots. As one might expect, many reasonable people took that as a challenge and bombarded the anti-gay Christian Facebook page with happy rainbow flag emojis :-). Myself included, because I had nothing else to do but sit around all day and masturbate to Christian Porn. In response, the Christian Facebook page issued the following public service announcement:

“Despite all the lies and false accusations here we are not being hateful to any person. We also will not back down from proclaimimg truth of God’s word.” Me: I, lovely Church, say “Eat my *ss”. Sin is sin period. Sin results in eternal seperation from God. Despite your lack of understanding of love, we here love everyone enough to speak the truth even in the face of so much hate. Me: “Um, could you go f*ck your yourselves in the *sses with didldos please? Thanks!”

So we speak the truth that sin leads to death, but we have a savior that can set one free from sin and give them a new life in Christ. Me: “Oh STFU, we all “Sin” one way or another. Good luck getting your priests into Heaven, you Pediphiles. I’m sorry, was that a blanket statement? Yeah, and now you know what it’s like.”

Lord I know that right now many lost people are being sent here by the powers of darkness that control them to harass this page. I pray that when they come here that their eyes be opened up to the truth of your word. Your word is living and active and has the power to reach the heart. And even though these people are coming here as our enemies to hate us, I still pray blessings over them and pray you open their eyes to see the truth clearly. Satan has blinded many to the truth, but we come against any attack or insult or curse of the enemy in Jesus name. Me: “No, but SERIOUSLY eat my *ss. I just pooped and this would be a win/win for all involved”.

The “Warriors for Christ” are feeling persecuted because their anti-gay rhetoric is being ridiculed. And all their prayers to a God they say love us/hate us will never justify their pious bigotry and hatred.


PS: Here’s how to get the rainbow flag reaction: (FlagBomb these biggots!)

  1. Log in to Facebook in the app or on the web
  2. Go to the LGBTQ@Facebook page
  3. Like the page (You may go to H*ll for this- I dunno, lol.)
  4. You might need to logout and log back in again before the reaction appears.

OK, well it seems my job is done.