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Yup, it’s true. Apple Maps still sucks.

So I decided to get Apple Maps to try and turned off Google maps. Besides the fact it only gives you about 300 foot warning before  any turn- it still sucks. It had me get off the highway, go around a very beautiful country loop for about 6 miles/20 minutes and then it had me completely backtrack and get back on the same damn highway. For no reason.

I’m  just surprised after all these years, they still can’t get it right.

And just a side note: dictating this entry with Siri was almost as bad as getting driving directions from Apple Maps. I had to go back and make so many corrections that it wasn’t even worth dictating this in the first place.

I just thought I would start off your Saturday morning with a little funny… :-). #YoureWelcome

Real Quick: #TruckDriver side-swiped me on purpose and took off.

#HitandRun.For the *

For the *sshole in the semi (18 wheeler) who used his truck as a weapon against me yesterday on a Pennsylvania Highway: You, Sir, can suck my larger-than-average white d*ck. You could have killed me and other people on the road. Keeping my van down on all 4’s was only doable because I learned how to do so safely in a situation like that via a defensive driving course. The fact that I didn’t roll over was a godsend because I like my life. And my family loves me. And I have a boyfriend who loves me. And a cat that I adore and I believe he adores me back. And I have 2 pet rats (who were with me when you side-swiped me) and some turtles too. I LOVE my life and I think you did not care that what you did could have ended it. You are a scumbag of a human. And then you drove away. Didn’t think I’d be able to get back on the road and follow you until the police got there, huh? And you thought by exiting the highway and getting back on in different directions FOUR times- you would lose me? You’re dumb. Thanks to my evasive efforts my van was only cosmetically damaged and I was still able to follow your stupid *ss. To my delight, the Pennsylvania Police forced you to the shoulder (what were you thinking not stopping for them??!). And I was tickled even more when they got you out of your truck and cuffed and arrested your dumb *ss. That was very rewarding o see that. (You didn’t seem humiliated, which makes me think you’re #Pyscho). Hope you enjoyed your night in the #PigPen and I hope you felt the burn when you had to pay a HUGE amount for the Tow and the HUGE amount for the impound. Big Rig = Big money. And now, of course, you’re gonna haffa pony up for the damages to my vehicle. You. Are. F*cked. And you deserve all of it.

What you did was unbelievable, and worse yet, you had no remorse when the police asked you to explain.

See you in Court, #NutJob.


To my #Stalkers and #VocalVirgo’s reading this: I REALLY want to post the pictures and videos, but my Insurance Company said no-no. But I’m allowed to #Blog about it! :-). SERIOUSLY, this was an incredibly dangerous situation and it happened really fast. People could have been hurt or killed. This kind of sh*t is no joking matter. Don’t #RoadRage people no matter what they do or how they drive.

I’m glad to be safe, and back on the road headed home. Everyone drive careful. Keep your eyes on the road and hands off your phones. (Having your hands on your downstairs-parts is OK though.)


Visiting the parents.

I’m not done driving all over the country in my unfinished van yet. But I got to my parents house last night on the East Coast.

By 11 AM this morning my Ma has called me a “jack*ss”, “crazy” and begged me to get in the shower and “do something about that hair”. Then she said I looked like I combed my hair with a blender. I then took a selfie with her and the hair she made fun of. Now I’m pooping.

I’ll take that shower and do something about this hair, but I swear to god- it’s so good to be home.

At least she made a killer pisghetti last night.


Me with bad hair on my Mom’s toilet. Maybe next time she’ll think twice…

I see White People

I am in North Dakota. I have not seen a black person in at least 1200 miles. I haven’t seen a Mexican or an Asian either.  Nothing but white. So when I got to this RV park and I asked the lady at the desk with the deal was with the lack of color in this part of the country and her response was “It’s not like we don’t like them,  there just aren’t any that live in these parts.”

Gee, maybe it’s all the confederate flags I’ve seen over the last few days.


I’d just like to say thanks to everyone who has followed this blog- through all its evolutions since I started it in 2003. As of Friday, September 8th 2017, has had 100,000,000 unique visitors! That’s a great feeling for a non-celebrity, irrelevant guy like me ;-)! Thanks!

I hope to keep evolving and be given the opportunity to keep sharing and entertaining!


With Love, @VocalVirgo

Composting Toilet. #VanLife

May I just say that it has been a joy to take a cr*p twice a day in a @LuggableLoo in the van during this road trip. I feel like this is a feeling I want to share with you idiots, because you have no life, and I cover my poo with shavings. Like a cat. Sort of.

Is it wrong that I enjoy crapping in a bucket? Meh.