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I’m Dumb, not Deaf.

So today I lost my voice. Woke up with a splitting headache and my ears were sore and my throat was killing me. I talked to the BF on the phone for an hour while I was driving the #VanLife van when it just hurt too much. 2 hours later, *poof!*, no more voice. (I’m sure that would make some of you happy, you f*ckers.) So I figured I’d just rest and let the Excedrin Migraine do its thing. Meanwhile, after leaving the @WalmartStores with said pills, I saw this amazing old motorhome parked next to me. Pictures were taken, but before I posted them to @Instagram, I wanted to find out exactly what it was. So, I preemptively typed out (on my phone) “This is beautiful, what is the year/make/model? What tranny? Also, your power cord is hanging down, just FYI.” So then I knocked on the door and this 50-something lady said “What?” in a not-so-friendly way. I waved, smiled and then pointed to my phone and put it up against the screen. She says “I can’t read that, what do you want?”. So I handed her the phone through the little slider that she had opened on the screen door. She looked surprised that I would pass her my phone. She read it and then said “Are you deaf or just dumb?” I shook my head kind of in disbelief that someone would be so insensitive, inconsiderate. But she took that as a “No, just dumb”, I guess, because then she said “Well good, at least you can hear me.” (Wow.) So then she asks her husband who answered everything and then she says “Yeah I know the cord is hanging out.” No “thank you”, no kindness in her anywhere. I signed to her “Thank You” in ASL, which I swear every hearing person knows for some reason and she said “Yeah, no problem. And you’re not the first to take pictures of it. I saw you out there taking pictures with your phone. I should delete them (she still had my phone) but since you can’t talk I guess you share stuff with your friends with pictures. Then she gave me my phone back. I smiled, signed “Thank You” again and then bent down and pet her little dog’s head through the screen door… you know, jail-style. When I was walking away I thought to myself what a b*tch that woman must be. She was nasty to a person she thought had a disability? I felt sorry for her.

Fast forward 2 hours later when I was at an Arby’s drive-thru. I realized I couldn’t place my order so I drove to the window and typed what I wanted to order. “The big-*ss roast beef with tomato and lettuce. I don’t know what it’s called… Thank You”. The lady read it and said, “OK hun, is there anything else?”. I shook my head “no” and she goes “Hold on a sec…”. Then she came back, told me how much it was and asked if I wanted Arby’s sauce and catsup. I held up my finger saying “1”. She goes “Of each or just the first one- Arby’s sauce…?”. I nodded to the “Just Arby’s sauce” option. She says “You got it, be right back.” When she came back she had an extra nice smile on her face and told me I was a cutie and to drive safe. I signed “Thank you.” and went to a shady spot to pig-out. When I was done being a #BigFatF*ckingPig, I saw there was something else in the bag. It was a cherry cheese yummy desert thingie. How damn sweet was that?! So, I grabbed one of the very cool folded thank you cards that my friend Kirby made for me (to write out and give to people I met along my travels to say thank you…) and I walked into Arby’s. The guy behind the counter gave me a pen and I slid the card up and wrote “Thank You so much. You are a very sweet person.” And I drew a heart. And then signed it “@VocalVirgo”. I handed it to the guy and pointed to the drive-thru window. He smiled and said “Sure thing.” And as I was walking away I heard him call out her name and say “That kid brought this in for you.” As I was walking back to the van I was hoping it would make her day as much as she made mine.

See, it took less effort for the lady at Arby’s to be amazing than it took for the mean lady to be… well… kinda’ mean and rude.

This was just one day with no voice. Imagine the hurdles the hearing impaired or mute folks have to go through on a daily basis in this world. #LoveOneAnother.

Yup, it’s true. Apple Maps still sucks.

So I decided to get Apple Maps to try and turned off Google maps. Besides the fact it only gives you about 300 foot warning before  any turn- it still sucks. It had me get off the highway, go around a very beautiful country loop for about 6 miles/20 minutes and then it had me completely backtrack and get back on the same damn highway. For no reason.

I’m  just surprised after all these years, they still can’t get it right.

And just a side note: dictating this entry with Siri was almost as bad as getting driving directions from Apple Maps. I had to go back and make so many corrections that it wasn’t even worth dictating this in the first place.

I just thought I would start off your Saturday morning with a little funny… :-). #YoureWelcome

Real Quick: #TruckDriver side-swiped me on purpose and took off.

#HitandRun.For the *

For the *sshole in the semi (18 wheeler) who used his truck as a weapon against me yesterday on a Pennsylvania Highway: You, Sir, can suck my larger-than-average white d*ck. You could have killed me and other people on the road. Keeping my van down on all 4’s was only doable because I learned how to do so safely in a situation like that via a defensive driving course. The fact that I didn’t roll over was a godsend because I like my life. And my family loves me. And I have a boyfriend who loves me. And a cat that I adore and I believe he adores me back. And I have 2 pet rats (who were with me when you side-swiped me) and some turtles too. I LOVE my life and I think you did not care that what you did could have ended it. You are a scumbag of a human. And then you drove away. Didn’t think I’d be able to get back on the road and follow you until the police got there, huh? And you thought by exiting the highway and getting back on in different directions FOUR times- you would lose me? You’re dumb. Thanks to my evasive efforts my van was only cosmetically damaged and I was still able to follow your stupid *ss. To my delight, the Pennsylvania Police forced you to the shoulder (what were you thinking not stopping for them??!). And I was tickled even more when they got you out of your truck and cuffed and arrested your dumb *ss. That was very rewarding o see that. (You didn’t seem humiliated, which makes me think you’re #Pyscho). Hope you enjoyed your night in the #PigPen and I hope you felt the burn when you had to pay a HUGE amount for the Tow and the HUGE amount for the impound. Big Rig = Big money. And now, of course, you’re gonna haffa pony up for the damages to my vehicle. You. Are. F*cked. And you deserve all of it.

What you did was unbelievable, and worse yet, you had no remorse when the police asked you to explain.

See you in Court, #NutJob.


To my #Stalkers and #VocalVirgo’s reading this: I REALLY want to post the pictures and videos, but my Insurance Company said no-no. But I’m allowed to #Blog about it! :-). SERIOUSLY, this was an incredibly dangerous situation and it happened really fast. People could have been hurt or killed. This kind of sh*t is no joking matter. Don’t #RoadRage people no matter what they do or how they drive.

I’m glad to be safe, and back on the road headed home. Everyone drive careful. Keep your eyes on the road and hands off your phones. (Having your hands on your downstairs-parts is OK though.)


Visiting the parents.

I’m not done driving all over the country in my unfinished van yet. But I got to my parents house last night on the East Coast.

By 11 AM this morning my Ma has called me a “jack*ss”, “crazy” and begged me to get in the shower and “do something about that hair”. Then she said I looked like I combed my hair with a blender. I then took a selfie with her and the hair she made fun of. Now I’m pooping.

I’ll take that shower and do something about this hair, but I swear to god- it’s so good to be home.

At least she made a killer pisghetti last night.


Me with bad hair on my Mom’s toilet. Maybe next time she’ll think twice…

I see White People

I am in North Dakota. I have not seen a black person in at least 1200 miles. I haven’t seen a Mexican or an Asian either.  Nothing but white. So when I got to this RV park and I asked the lady at the desk with the deal was with the lack of color in this part of the country and her response was “It’s not like we don’t like them,  there just aren’t any that live in these parts.”

Gee, maybe it’s all the confederate flags I’ve seen over the last few days.


I’d just like to say thanks to everyone who has followed this blog- through all its evolutions since I started it in 2003. As of Friday, September 8th 2017, has had 100,000,000 unique visitors! That’s a great feeling for a non-celebrity, irrelevant guy like me ;-)! Thanks!

I hope to keep evolving and be given the opportunity to keep sharing and entertaining!


With Love, @VocalVirgo