Just lie to them.

So last night I was told that if I started making up crazy stories and publishing them to my blog, I could monetize the blog and make money. This advice was given to me by a talent manager I had met at a truck stop while filling up my diesel car. After I told her that I already had a blog and I didn’t really need to make anything up (because my real life antics are good enough) she assured me it probably isn’t enough to bring much traffic. Well, I told her what my online handle was and wished her and her diesel-truck-owning husband a good day. About 20 minutes later I get a DM from her on Twitter saying “Oh my God, your blog is SO funny and RANDOM!! You’re a funny guy. And kudos on playing your audience with your sass!”

Um, she seemed so exited… but to me, this is just everyday. 14 facebook profiles shut down, Friendster kicked me off for having “too many friends” (right when I hit 1 million), and even Yelp deleted my account for making (hilarious) reviews. Yeah, this all seems normal to me. The only way I’d like being me more is if I made more Vlogs to share with the crazy people that follow me. But you guys are so not worth it. You’re just a bunch of Wh*res- and you know it.

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