I have to do a Video, apparently…

I got a nasty email from a fanatical follower demanding I do a new Video for my blog ASAP because I haven’t done one in a week. Listen here- I playfully call them the “Sunday Sit-Down” because I only want to do them once a week you stupid d*uche. Yes, I poop every day, but if you think I have something interesting to say every day of the week, you’re Whack and on Crack (too soon?). I barely have something interesting to say 1 day a week. So shut your vagina and wait it out like all the rest of the weirdos who follow me.
PS: Suck my d*ck?
PPS: This means I have to shower and get dressed today if I’m gonna do a video. Dammit!!

Letter to my 2 BFF’s (who are also IT managers)

Letter to my 2 BFF’s (who are also IT manages)

Subject: Black Macbook 2,1

Content: You two had better figure out how the f*ck I’m getting Mountain Lion on my computer. It is not ML compatible. And there is no upgrade available for the graphics. None. So, one of you two f*ckers better figure this out or I’m going to fire you from my very prestigious team of underpaid/not paid at all friends.


Bill O’Reilly

So, you all know I don’t do politics or celebrity sh*t. But I just saw a clip of this guy Bill O’Reilly on some Fox News thing talking about drugs. I know a lot of people dislike Fox and Bill, but I’m so out of touch with politics I couldn’t tell you why- so, I probably shouldn’t blog my uneducated opinion. But I will. Bill said some stuff about drugs that I agree with. It was smart if not a little aggressive. But then the 4 of them ganged up on this lady person who was talking about not wanting her enemies clips playing on their TV’s in the buildings hallways. These 3 Fox people and Bill made fun of her and my tiny brain thinks they missed what she was saying. She was making a goid hard joke, not being serious. My f*cking point is, is that they may have misunderstood what she was saying and then slammed her to millions of people on national television. I don’t feel bad for agreeing with one point and then disagreeing with the other thing he was talking about. I do however wish that people would understand no one is perfect and certainly nothing and no one is anything 100% of the time. It may shock you to know: I’m not always in my office on the toilet dropping some sh*t off and surfing the web on my soon to be outdated laptop (F*ck You, Apple… F*ck You). There are times when I’m nailing a hooker and surfing the web on my soon to be outdated laptop (F*ck You, Apple… F*ck You). We should all calm down a little and hear what the other guy has to say. Even if we think it’s stupid and they are stupid wh*res. Did this just get really weird?

“Friend me on Facebook!” Not.

I haven’d added anyone to my Facebook in days, but yet I get this little diddy. I couldn’t log in until I agreed with their stupid c*cks*cking stupid sh*t. I complain about FB so much… why don’t I just leave? I guess for the same reason I let my Ex hit me. HI DAVE!!!
What…? Too soon?

(no one was hurt during the taking of this screenshot, no one cares)

Kudos to Amazon: Tasteful tribute to Whitney.

Well done Amazon. You put a tribute on the valuble front page of your site and there were no links to buy anything from you. You didn’t try to pull at our heart strings and then bait us with some good deal on her music. It’s just there, with no agenda. Very well done. I have a new respect for Amazon now. Plus, they make that Kindle Fire that my Mother is in LOVE with. Maybe I’ll buy her a gift card to Amazon so she can download some favorite Whitney to her Fire. Yeah… I’m a good boy.

(my soul felt sad during the taking of this screenshot)