I am laying in bed blogging about having to pee but not wanting to get out of bed. Why? Why would I tell the world this? Who cares if I have to pee so bad I can taste it? Who cares that it’s so cold in my house that my d*ck is ‘prolly an innie right now?
Should I just pee in my bed? Would that be so wrong?
F*ck it, I’m going back to sleep.

Scam Mail never felt so good.

So, here’s a fun share…. I don’t know if any of you got that email about doing surveys on things that you do/like/engage in (example… for me I was hoping I could rate my local bath house…) but I got one to rate my bank. I was all over that sh*t ’cause my bank sucks big huge smelly b*lls. So, I sign up and a week later I get this letter and check in the mail. It was obviously a scam, but I was more upset because the opportunity to trash my bank was lost. Anyway, for the next few weeks I kept getting harassing emails about how I had deposited the check and hadn’t transferred funds back to them and I was stealing (it wasn’t a real check, obviously I wasn’t stealing anything), and how I was going to go to jail. It was pretty fun/funny actually. Then I sent this one little email back to them and all the emails stopped. I ruined a good thing…. their emails were entertaining.
Anyway, here are some pictures.

Dumb B*tch Park Job

I’m sorry, I know I said I’m not a complainer, but I found this video that I wanted to post on Facebook a while back, but they were giving me trouble about the content I posted at the time, so I never did. And since Google encourages its Bloggers to be themselves (huge mistake Google, *huge*…) I thought I’d post it now. It’s just a funny example of stupid people. God I love stupid people.

(No cars were harmed in the making of this video.)

And NOW I have something interesting to say….

Now look, I’m not a big complainer…. unless you c*m before I do and then you want to stop. But I mean, I gotta say something about these “Twitter Eggs”, as my small brain likes to call the because they never have any profile pictures attached- just pictures of eggs, Twitter Eggs. Anyway- why is it that after I post, I then get a bunch of Twitter Spam from these Twitter Eggs? Will someone please explain to me how this works? I’m a techie, I’ll understand I swear. But what is the deal? Do these people or computers just make a Twitter account and then send out spam to whoever just posted and then cancel their accounts? I mark “Spam” on every single one I get. The only time I didn’t is because, and I admit it was bad form, some girl Tweeted that she wanted to show me her boobies. I fell for it. It was an iPad giveaway, not boobies. Most people would have taken the iPad, but I felt cheated.