Well, in a fun turn of events, the guy I helped get into Rehab (took me 3 long crazy weeks, having to endure his drunken abuse etc.), is now on a hate path for me. While I was on my way to visit him for the first time this past Sunday (visitation is only on Sundays from 2 PM – 5 PM) he started texting me hate texts. One right after the next. I pulled over to read what he was writing and when I got to text #2 and it simply said “ASSHOLE”, I turned around and drove home. I was already about 40 minutes into about a 1 hour and 20 minute ride. I decided at that moment that I was done. He is in a GREAT rehab in Malibu, has terrific people whose care he is under and he is *2 WEEKS SOBER!!!!* So I was okay with stepping out of it. Actually to be completely honest, I felt relieved. Helping him had taken such a toll on me. It was starting to suck the life out of me. Even with him already being in rehab, he kind of made me feel like I was responsible for every little thing that happened to him. Also including visiting him on Valentines Day, which I was totally uncomfortable with because of the stipulations he kept putting on it. (I did not go that first Sunday). Anyway, I didn’t speak with him the rest of the day until late that evening because I really didn’t want to deal with him. And let me tell you– my simple text message to him turned into an hour-long back-and-forth of how I’m a terrible person, I’m a total *sshole, I’m a complete liar, I’m trying to derail him, I used him, I’m hoping he will fail… bra bra bla. I swear, the list goes on and on and on. One reading all his texts wouldh think that he was writing to the devil himself. After an hour I realized it was completely futile (and ridiculous on my part) to be having a text argument with him. And then I had to come to the sad realization that he was not an irrational, mean-spirited, cruel jerk because he was a terrible drunk. Yeah, it was because he was an irrational, mean-spirited, cruel jerk kind of just in general. They can’t rehab that outta’ a guy. To make a long story short, I found myself apologizing to him for making him feel that I was to blame for everything and that I also wanted him to look at the things that he is doing now, the same as when he was blasted all the time. That’s when he made a juvenile comment about my Mom. It was then that I decided I needed to stop conversing with him altogether starting at that very moment because there was nothing left to say. At all. And let him know that I was doing that by blocking him via the settings in my glorious iOS device. Before I could complete that process he shot off a few really hurtful things. Untrue things, but you know it makes you feel when people talk nasty smack about you and even when it’s completely untrue you still feel hurt… yeah, well those types of things.
The next morning he sent a whopper of an email to my work (it’s a business I own, but still, he was aware that other people could see his email). He was politely (not) letting me know that he was going to leave rehab and intentionally lose his sobriety and “end it all”. So yeah, 1 more responsibility for me: I had to call the Rehab and let them know what he was saying were his intentions. I continue to wish him the best, but away from me.
So yeah, what’s that saying about no good deed…? And that the one about you can take a hooker to dinner…? Oh wait, that’s something else.
But at least he’s in a great rehab and is 2 weeks sober. Whew. That was a long roller-coaster ride for me. I’m glad I got off. I’m going back to the kiddy pool!